The next chapter

Here is a topic I haven't discussed yet---Fertility, pregnancy and babies!

Matt and I have been married now for almost 18 months. We have been discussing children seriously for about 6 months now and knew that when we were ready, we would have to see a fertility specialist since I do not have regular periods (which mean no ovulation). We had our first appointment in February and since then have been back about half a dozen times.

We have had testing done on both Matt and I and everything seems to look really good, except the fact that I do not have my periods, which means I do not ovulate. In my most recent visit, they did an ultra sound and saw lots of eggs in the ovaries! This makes me hopeful that I will get the 5+ children I want! Or maybe just the 2 that Matt wants. The more the merrier.

Originally, I didn't want to tell our parents about the fertility doctor stuff just because I wanted them to be totally surprised when we told them they were going to be grandparents, but since this can sometimes be a difficult thing to go through I find that their support they provide outweighs the surprise factor.

I would have loved to shock them. I honestly know both our mom's would have acted like this soon-2- be grandma if they didn't know we were trying for babies and it came as a total surprise. Maybe with baby #2--- or…maybe we will have twins and we can surprise them with that!

The doctor has decided they will put me on some medication that will regulate my period and help with the getting pregnant thing. I first have to go and get some vaccinations that have worn off since I have been born, like Rubella, and then wait a month for the vaccinations to get into my system. We anticipate starting this medication about mid May.

I was a little upset when I found out that my blood worked showed I had to go and get some vaccinations which would push this process back a month or so, but I know it was suppose to happen for a reason. As it goes to show, if I didn't need the vaccinations, I would already be on the medication and we would already be trying for baby. This most likely would have added some extra non-needed stress for us right now since Matt is still currently in between jobs.

When I think starting a family, I get really excited. It is something I have dreamed about since I was a little girl. I was playing "house" with my baby dolls until I went into 7th grade, (which my mom just told me that she used to worry and not think that was "normal" to be 13 and playing with baby dolls) and if I didn't think it was too weird, I would probably still be playing "house" to this day =)

When Matt and I started talking about children, he was the one that wanted to wait a while. So I agreed and we set goals that we wanted to have accomplished before bringing a baby into the world… The goals we set for ourselves were:

1. Have our debt paid off.

2. Matt be out of the military

3. Matt have a great job that he loves and that will support us in order for me to be a stay at home mom and raise all of our wonder five two children

Within the last 3 months, we have just about accomplished all of these and I feel the next chapter in our lives is just around the corner.

I sometimes think to myself about everything that goes into raising a baby and wonder if we are ready to take the next step in our lives… But usually these hindered thoughts are interrupted by the thought of seeing a little person that Matt and I have created.

A little person that will be equal parts of both him and me. A little person that I hope will have Matt's beautiful eyes and my sense of creativity. A little person that we can love, cherish and worry about for the rest of our lives. One that we can raise and teach everything we know to and keep us from getting the recommended 8 hours of sleep each night. A little person that will fill our hearts with such joy, we will wonder how we ever lived without them in our lives.

I think it is hard to comprehend that one day I will be able to carry a child inside and grow it from a little tadpole to the size of real baby! I can't wait to feel my baby kick and have weird cravings. I can't wait to go shopping and decorate a nursery and watch my belly grow until I can no longer see my feet, shave my legs or fit my regular clothes. I can't wait to see the look on Matt's face when he meets our baby for the first time. I can't wait for our families to spoil them rotten. I can't wait to torture our poor kid with camera…there first word will probably be, "cheese".

I know that one day we will get to experience all of these things, and I can't wait. Even if it means having to go through some pretty hard and painful procedures and taking medicine that makes me nauseous and irritable and sometimes makes me really annoyed with my wonderful husband. Good thing he understands and forgives me.

I think that our struggle with getting pregnant is suppose to happen. I think that it will make us appreciate the miracle of life and love the little one that will be sent to us, even more.