A big pile of …

Working at a help desk, we are the point of contact for any and all issues and requests… Bathroom stall is out of toilet paper… There is a dead bird on the sidewalk that needs to be picked up…My computer is making a weird noise… you know…normal issues. These requests are not ones that we psychically take care of, but we have different departments that will go out and tend to the issues. We are basically just the dispatch group.
So yesterday when I got in, my co-worker said "Look in the e-mail box… I think we have a winner for weirdest ticket of the year"…. Wow. All I have to say is that it made my Tuesday. I was laughing so hard and was very thankful I did not work in the department that I sent this to!

From: Big Bird (real name has been removed)
Sent: Tuesday, June 17, 2008 8:43 AM
To: Help Desk
Subject: YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS!

Help Desk,

Looks like someone got out of control last night and left a DNA sample (aka #2) on the front bumper of the company van. They also left their undergarments on the rear (no pun intended) wiper blade.

God speed,

Big Bird

Since our parking lot is under video surveillance, they rewound the tapes and spotted the culprit… a pack of skateboarders who had been asked to leave hours before. I guess they weren't too happy about the request and decided to give a parting gift as they went away.